onlyyouknowtherealme asked: OMG, I just read your post! That is beyond crazy! Please fight through this and keep your head up! Please! They don't see what they are missing out on, this wonderful human being, that only wants to be loved. You may not be religious, but I will keep you and your relationship problems in my prayers! Hang in there... O.o

That means a lot. Thanks. 

I do everything I can for your sorry ass but wtf do I get in return? Screams? Being called names? A fucking lecture? Are you fucking serious? I have never in my life been so angry as I am right now. My head is throbbing, my heart is aching, and tears are on the verge of pouring out of my eyes. But for what? You’re not that important. I should have realized that a long time ago. Maybe it’s because of you I’m so fucked up and insecure about myself. Maybe it’s because of you I doubt myself and think I’m not good enough. Who the fuck are you? Who do you think you are? Ha you call yourself a grandmother? You have three fucking cars, woman. THREE. You live alone and you have a Benz, a Mercedes, and a Cadillac? And  you can’t even buy your granddaughter one? WHAT THE FUCK. I don’t even like asking you for shit anymore because I know all you’re gunna say is “ask your mom, ask your mom”. Oh like I don’t fucking hear that from my fucking father everyday. You think you’re so righteous and so much better than eveybody…. Is that why you’re alone and all the people around you are talking shit about you and YOU’RE FUCKING 73?! Give yourself a break. I always wonder what I did to deserve the shit you put on me. I try and forgive you, I try because you’re my grandma but you know what? I really don’t give two fucks anymore. I am literally disowning you. What have I got to lose? Seriously? What have you done for me that I’m scared to lose? Uh…. Let me try to answer that for you….. Uh, the food you buy me once a year? The $50 you gave me for graduating? That’s all I can think of… Oh, wait isn’t the house I’m in right now the one that’s under you’re name? Oops. I can leave. But the only thing stopping me from saying this to you is because I’m afraid to leave my brother with you crazy bitches. I’m afraid to lose that tiny bit of kindness that he still might have in him because you’ve sucked him dry too. I’m afraid to let you have him because I know you can and he isn’t old enough to see your flaws as I do. 

Oh and dad? I fucking hate you too. I try and do things for you because I know you’re tired and you work all day but I fucking give up. I try to tell myself that you’ve done enough for me because.. Well, that’s what you tell me. I really think about that right now and… You haven’t done jack squat for me. Really… Ask yourself, what in the fucking world have you done for me? Paid for my college tuition? No. My books? No. My school supplies? No. I think the only think you’ve done for me is take me out to eat everyday… Instead of wasting about $50 on dinner every night how about we eat at home for once and you try and save up that money for my college fees? No? Oh what was that? Because you did FAFSA? HAHAHHAHAHAH you didn’t even FILL IT OUT YOURSELF! Mom had to pay a guy $1000 to fucking get the taxes from you and fill it out. Please tell me that doesn’t sound fucking crazy. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME?! I recently just realized you don’t even pay for the roof over my head so wtf.. I try to swallow it because like I said before, I can leave whenever the fuck I want and get rid of you and grandma from my life for.. well, the rest of my life. I DON’T NEED YOU. Idk if you know that already but the only reason I’m fucking in this shit hole of a house is because of Justin. Oh… Remember how you rented out my room too? AHAHHAH did I complain about that? No. But thanks. Thank you so much for teaching me to hate. Teaching me to anger quickly and to lose all my patience. Thank you for ruining my life along with my brothers because even though you don’t see it, I do. 

You know, you two, it’s not even about the money that I’m so mad about. It’s about the fact that you call this piece of shit “our family” and you try to manipulate me into trying to be nice and respectful to “my family”. HAHAH Omfg, this is not a fucking family. This is by far the shittiest family I have ever seen. I look at my friends and their lives in jealousy because me and my brother got stuck with the most selfish, greedy, cold-hearted people in the world. It’s funny how I would have been just like you guys if it wasn’t for mom. Mom might not live with me but she’s the only family I have along with my brother. That’s my family. My mom, my brother, and me. My mom has done everything she can to make me happy and get me the life that she could never have. She doesn’t want me to suffer like she does but you? You make my life miserable since the day I was born. If it wasn’t for my mom I’m sure I’d be dead because everytime I have to listen to your bullshit I want to stick a gun in my mouth. All the love that I HAVEN’T gotten from you two has all come from mom. EVERY SINGLE BIT. If not for her, I’d be straight up depressed from neglect. She doesn’t eat sometimes when she gets home because she’s trying her hardest to save up every cent to send me back to college this following semester. What are you doing for that, dad? Oh wait, you’re too busy trying to make money to pay off your brand new 2011 Chrysler. Oh fuck, I can’t even stop laughing. I can’t believe I  didn’t see this before. YOU LITERALLY BROKE ME! I’m numb. I have no feelings, I don’t care anymore. I don’t care about you and I certainly don’t care about what you call your “mother” or my “grandmother”. You two are hatred in human form. Dad, you tell me that you’re too tired to talk about the financial issues I’m having with college because why? You work all day? HAHAHAHA SO DOES MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So why in the fucking world would I ask my mother who is already so worried about not being able to pay for school for shit like… notebooks or shampoo? COME ON. Is a notebook so much that you have to ask my mom to pay for that too? HAHAH why do I live with you then if my mom pays for everything?!?! I wish you knew how I felt about you. I wish you did but deep inside I know you wouldn’t give a shit either. Someone once told me that I should reflect God’s love through my actions but I can’t say that I haven’t tried.. I’ve tried to love you, I tried so very hard but I can only stand so much of the screaming and the yelling. I’m tired and I’m broken and I just can’t do it anymore. 

I can’t wait to say this to you guys in person when my brother is off to college. I can’t wait to see the look on your faces when I SCREAM OUT THE TRUTH IN YOUR FACES. I can’t wait till you beat me to death because I know I can’t hate you more than I already do. I can’t wait.